Why You Want A Messy Prayer Life

You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.
-Psalm 63: 1-8

RRecently, I was listening to a sermon by Megan Fate Marshman where she said:

"Prayer isn’t a place to be good — it’s a place to be honest. If you want a boring prayer life, spend all your time performing in it."

That one statement has completely changed how I approach prayer — and here’s why.

This morning, I woke up feeling overwhelmed by some things happening in my life and didn’t know how to navigate them. Before this past year — before I began spending intentional, quality time with the Lord in Scripture — my default response to stress was to find a friend, vent, and follow whatever advice they gave me. Yikes. I know that’s not ideal, but I’ve been learning that’s not God’s way… and thankfully, it’s not how I operate anymore.

These days, I’ve been doing something better: I sit with my worries, try to release them, and pray that God would take the anxiety and fear away. That’s growth. But if I’m honest — it’s still not the full invitation of what prayer is meant to be.

What God really wants is for us to come to Him in our mess — to show Him our raw hearts and real struggles.

I was reminded of this again today. As I was doing my morning chores, still wrestling with stress and anxiety, I felt a thought settle deep into my mind like a little flag waving for attention:

“If you want a boring prayer life, be good in your prayers.”

That’s when it hit me.

God was gently inviting me to drop the performance. He was asking me to come to Him just as I was — tired, messy, overwhelmed — and let Him into it all.

So, I did.

I poured out my heart to God. I told Him everything: my anger, stress, resentment, confusion, hesitation, doubts, and hurts. And in return, God — who is so merciful — did the kindest thing. He didn’t shame me. He didn’t scold me for having big emotions. He met me there.

He led me to some verses in Scripture, and as I read them, He began to teach me. Not by taking my struggles away, and not by instantly solving anything, but by showing me why I was facing them. He helped me understand the purpose behind the pressure — the refining hidden in the hardship.

And with that, peace came.

Nothing about my circumstances changed. But I did. God met me right in the middle of my mess and sat with me in it. Not once did He chastise me for my feelings — instead, He helped me see why I was going through what I was going through.

And lately, that’s exactly where He keeps meeting me in prayer. Not to remove the stress, but to reveal its purpose. Not to cancel the trial, but to help me grow through it. That understanding — that insight into the why — has become the motivation I need to keep going.

Because now, I’m not just surviving the hard stuff. I’m learning from it.

And I love God for that.

For who He is.

I am grateful for a God who wants us raw and messy and honest and isn’t there to chastise us for our big emotions but to sit with us in them and teach us the why and the how. What I've also learned is that a strong prayer life with God doesn't miraculously exempt you from challenges and trials but rather you are assured that you will never have to walk it alone.

God is SO incredibly kind.

If I am being transparent — I wasn’t having the best of feelings towards some individuals and never once did God chastise me for feeling that way. He acknowledged the pain, hurt, resentment, and confusion and then showed me why I was being allowed to experience these feelings with these individuals.

I like how Lisa Harper puts it—

“We can’t see the God of the Old Testament (or God at any time) as a unibrowed librarian, just waiting to whack people over the head with a Bible if they step out of line.”

God isn't a rigid joyless taskmaster who, like a stern librarian, is ready to judge our every misstep. That picture of God is inaccurate and unhelpful. God is always kind and always good. I have found Him to want relationship more than to lay down His authority and judge us for what we are doing.

God is someone who meets us in our pain and suffering, not to punish us, but rather to walk alongside us until the trial and tribulation is over.

In Mark 2:21 it says:

"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. Otherwise, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse."

I guess the only catch with God when you go to Him real, raw, and messy is that you can't expect to leave where you are at after communing with God. Somehow, it seems like each interaction with Him is an opportunity to change from our old selves into something new — God doesn't patch us; rather, He completely transforms us to reflect more of Him.

So if you’re walking through something hard, let this be your reminder:

God isn’t afraid of your mess.
He doesn’t demand perfection.
He doesn’t flinch at your honesty.

He meets you in it — not to punish, but to walk with you through it.
And in that walking, something holy happens: you grow.